Who’s Gonna Take the Weight?

Whenever the 10 of Wands comes up for relationship readings, I immediately know that more than likely there is a distinct imbalance within the union in question. For instance, I recently did a reading for a regular client of mine and this card came up representing how my client’s love interest sees her. When I told her that he is expecting her to put forth most if not all of the effort in order to progress forward she agreed. She said that she realizes that the ball is in her court in so many words. While this client felt fine with that fact, others may not be so keen on knowing that the weight of the relationship falls squarely on their shoulders.

In general, seeing the 10 of Wands card appear in a relationship spread is a cause for concern. It is a fiery red flag in most cases–especially in budding relationships. In addition to shouldering the bulk of responsibility in a relationship, this card can also mean that one of the partners is taking the blame for everything or that he or she is essentially the martyr. The 10 of Wands can represent the workaholic partner who leaves no time or energy for the relationship. It can symbolize the working spouse who also has to tend to all of the household duties.

Now the 10 of Wands doesn’t always have to point to a negative situation. It may actually deal with necessity in some cases. For instance, the card may surface when one of the partners is sick or unemployed. It may be drawn if one partner is attending school while the other has to pick up the slack. It could also indicate that one partner chooses to bear the brunt of responsibility because they have difficulty delegating to others. The 10 of Wands could certainly depict a control-freak type of partner.

Sometimes one has to play the role of the 10 of Wands just to bring a relationship to fruition. This was traditionally the man’s role, but in modern times it can deal with either gender. In fact, it seems that in this day and age, it is often the woman who willingly takes on the 10 of Wands persona in the beginning of the relationship only to be filled with resentment when she realizes that she will never get close to it being 50/50; maybe not even 60/40. This is why open and honest communication regarding standards and expectations is so important in the beginning stages of any relationship. This can prevent the 10 of Wands card from showing up in the first place. If the 10 of Wands does happen to arise in the course of your relationship you need to ask yourself if this is a win-win situation and if it is not, you should really consider making some necessary adjustments for no man is an island or a beast of burden.


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