Venus in Aquarius: Kaleidoscopic Love

Venus in Aquarius 2

Venus is currently soaring through Aquarius. Venus in Aquarius is an edgy, cool, progressive female who prefers solid friendship to a suffocating committed relationship. This is not to say that Aquarian Venus is noncommittal, she just doesn’t want it to feel that way. She is fiercely independent and prone to rebellion if faced with too much restriction. The best way to keep Venus in Aquarius happy is to give her plenty of autonomy to make changes at a moment’s notice and to respect the fact that she will have a throng of friends and admirers–both male and female. It’s no sense harboring feelings of jealousy when it comes to Venus in Aquarius. She’s a natural magnet when it comes to making new acquaintances and she’s quite the social butterfly. Her social circle is akin to a kaleidoscope; full of colorful and dynamic types.

In a marriage or long-term commitment Venus in Aquarius has a need to run the show. A lot of times it is either her way or no way. The good thing is Venus in Aquarius tends to attract the kind of partners who have no problem submitting to her indomitable will. Any partner of Aquarian Venus will also need to wear a thick skin since she won’t hesitate to tell you the hardcore truth. She’s not emotionally needy and she’s not really concerned with the sentimental. Sometimes Venus in Aquarius may become so uncomfortable with her emotions that she resorts to humor or goof ball antics to keep the atmosphere light and carefree. She is not one for a lot of mushy doting or displays of affection. What she wants is sincerity and authenticity. Venus in Aquarius does however have a huge sense of entitlement and does not do well with the word “No” when she is on the receiving end. If it’s something that she wants and her partner is not providing it, she will take a circuitous route to get it. Loyalty is another weakness of Aquarian Venus. This is due to her shunning of systems of hierarchy and tradition. Don’t expect her to put you or anyone else on a pedestal. She believes that her friends deserve just as much time and attention as her partner/spouse.

Sexually, Aquarius is the sign of the freak, so Venus in this sign may have various tricks up her sleeve. The vibrator and other sex toys are very Venus in Aquarius for instance. Since Aquarian Venus is very tolerant of that which deviates from the norm, she is prone to bisexuality, homosexuality, and entering poly-amorous unions. Even if her sexual orientation is bone-straight, she will most likely be very accepting of alternative lifestyles.

In terms of personal style, Venus in Aquarius prefers looks that are cutting edge, progressive and even futuristic. She doesn’t follow trends, she is a trendsetter. She is attracted to bright colors and pastels, abstract patterns, and strategically placed rips and tears. For instance fashion trends such a ripped and acid wash jeans, torn tees, platform shoes, and unisex clothing are the epitome of Venus in Aquarius. She likes to be radically different than the masses and her appearance may even reveal her activist nature. PETA and the whole “I’d rather go naked than wear fur” campaign is certainly a Venus in Aquarius construct. Venus in Aquarius is drawn to technological gadgets that  enhance beauty such as state of the art make up tools. She will frequent Sephora, Ulta and the like to keep her arsenal of beauty implements well stocked. She sees makeup as a means of physical evolution. When it comes to hairstyles Venus in Aquarius can go through frequent changes. She is likely to dye her hair on a whim and she is drawn to colors such as platinum blond or maybe even a funky blue. Venus in Aquarius likes short, androgynous hair cuts, spiky tresses and asymmetrical coifs. The shaving one side of the head trend? Yes, that’s Aquarian Venus.





Venus in Capricorn: Love You Long Time


Venus is now in Capricorn, the workaholic of the Zodiac. For Venus in Capricorn, love and relationships may as well be forms of work. The blessing in this is that Venus in Capricorn will always be there when she is truly needed. She is ever so stable and responsible. It’s the day to day existence of a relationship and what she sees as trivial matters that can be the source of frustration for a Capricorn Venus’ partner, however. Venus in Capricorn is not one to be emotionally needy and she expects her mate to be just as self-sufficient.

She wants a partnership for life and she is apt to hang on to a lover in some way, shape, or form long after the relationship has died. This is Venus in Capricorn’s Achilles’s heel; it often being so hard for her to let go of the past. To the extreme, Venus in Capricorn can be a glutton for punishment and can be drawn to partners who set out to hurt and humiliate her. This is because for Capricorn, without a constant struggle, life really does not carry much meaning. On the other extreme, Venus in Cap can be the classic gold digger or executive who sleeps her way to the top.

She may be a bit emotionally distant, but she is very sentimental and will retain all of the little messages and gifts that you bestow upon her. She will be devoted to her career, but also her family. Sometimes she finds it hard to find the right balance between work and home with the latter often being on the losing end. Venus in Capricorn could easily find love in the workplace or somewhere along her career path. She’s of the few who could successfully be business partners with her spouse. Sexually, this she-goat can get down and dirty. She’s the epitome of “a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed”.

Financially, she is extremely resourceful, frugal and can be prone to miserliness. Money will only come through hard work in most cases, but she will have plenty of it. She is attracted to the classic, the vintage and the antique in terms of personal style. Rarely will you find her in busy dresses and skirts, yet she’s not necessarily a tomboy. She prefers clothing that is practical, comfortable and unassuming. Black and other utilitarian colors dominate her wardrobe. 

Venus in Sagittarius: The Sequined Goddess of Love



Venus has now entered Sagittarius so it’s now time for her to do it up big. Venus in Sagittarius is forever in search of ideal conditions, albeit she’s not as anal as Venus in Virgo or as uncompromising as Venus in Pisces. If it’s the best however, Venus in Sag wants it. For Venus in Sagittarius it’s not so much about the monetary value of things as it is the quality and exclusivity. If this fiery Venus can snag an expensive item at half off because it was not favored by the masses, she feels like a winner. Venus in Sagittarius does not long for that which is ubiquitous, she wants the exotic, the rare, and the highly cherished. Sacred items can run the gamut from a prized medieval steel dagger to  a one-of-a kind purple 1972 Stingray Corvette. Oh yes, Venus in Sagittarius will not shy away from sports cars and sports in general come naturally to her. 

When it comes to relationships it’s best that you give this girl plenty of space. She may be a bit awkward when it comes to outward displays of affection, but she’s a tiger in the bedroom. Venus in Sag may not be into PDA, but behind closed doors her unbridled animal nature takes over. Venus in Sagittarius may have had many of lovers from Texas to Tibet, but she’s searching for the ideal and when she finds this special someone she will be more than happy to settle down for eternity. As long as Venus in Sagittarius has the freedom to be herself and space to grow (knocking things over in the process–clumsy Sag) she will be faithful. She has so much love to give so you better be ready to give as much in return. Venus in Sagittarius may blindly rush into a relationship or marriage over mere sexual chemistry only to wake up a few days later plotting on how they will make her exit. 

Believe it or not, Venus in Sagittarius has a high degree of morals and an unwavering sense of decency when it comes to her public life. She makes one helluva an attorney and an honest politician–if Venus is not afflicted by planets such as Pluto and Neptune. Venus in Sagittarius is lucky in matters of love and money. This is the type of woman who gets married a few months before her soulmate hits the Powerball Jackpot.  Her partner surprises her with expensive, yet meaningful gifts such as a vacation in Bali or a chef’s table dinner at a 5-star restaurant. Venus in Sagittarius just doesn’t receive however, she gives–a lot. Venus in Sag is very generous and when wealthy, can be quite the humble philanthropist. 

In terms of fashion and personal style, Venus in Sagittarius likes to stand out in a crowd. Venus in Sag loves colorful patterns, unique prints, and multi-cultural ensembles. Every time a fashion fad emerges that takes from a foreign influence like the 60’s Nehru jacket or those Chinese shoes from the 70’s it is Venus in Sagittarius at work. While being no stranger to extravagance, Venus in Sagittarius is just as likely to venture into a thrift shop as they are Nordstrom in an attempt to find clothing  which allows her to express what she views as her avant garde sensibilities. Of all the signs, Venus in Sagittarius (Leo coming  in at a close second) is the most mortified by showing up to a party and seeing someone with the same outfit. She sees herself as a goddess so how dare a mere mortal copy her style. Venus in Sagittarius is attracted to sequins, leathers, furs, and silks. She is one of the few who can pull off looks such as leather sweatpants that just wouldn’t make sense if others were to wear it. Venus in Sag loves a fine cashmere sweater, but her carelessness or lack of attention to detail, may result in its quick demise as she mindlessly tosses it in the washing machine.  She’s into exotic and foreign artwork and if she’s an artist her work will have a Universal appeal. 


~ Rahbinah

Marriage: It’s Actually Work!


Everyone can get married now. Woo-hoo! I’m sure the number of new marriage licenses will now go through the roof. I’m not really in the mood for celebrating however, because I’m a bit cynical when it comes to that M-word: Marriage. It’s not all that’s it’s cracked up to be–at least it appears that way from the outside looking in. So many people have a strong desire to get married, but not enough thought goes into the daily rigors of committing yourself to one person.

Sure a lot of people can enter into long-term commitments; just look at how many people can commit to a 4 or 5 year car note. However, after about the 5th year (or maybe even less for some) a lot of the appeal of the car you are driving has worn off. You get used to it, you become complacent. You don’t value your car like you used to which is evident by the coffee stains, crumbs tightly wedged in the seams, and the two dehydrated French fries lurking under the seat. Then when the car begins to protest under the stress you’ve been putting on it day in and day out, you begin to think “this is not what I bargained for”. Breakdowns become more frequent and you start to lose trust in your once faithful vehicle. Then you start yearning for a newer, shinier model–even though your present car could certainly keep ticking if given the proper attention. In this present day, a lot of people do treat relationships like cars. Are you into your car as much or even more as the first day you drove it?

One of the worst things that a person can become is a “Long-Term Relationship Barbie” where all pre-marital/committal manners and courtesies go out the window in exchange for comfort and complacency. Complacency is one of the worst elements of a long-term relationship because being taken for granted is right around the corner. Once you turn that corner, apathy and disloyalty are right up the block, and you’re approaching infidelity on your left.

It’s not wise to get so comfortable with your mate that you have no qualms about relieving yourself (i.e. passing gas or doing #2) in their presence. No one should have to tolerate your morning breath no matter how long you’ve been sharing the same bed. Try to guard against the tendency of being an authority over your mate’s comings and goings. Don’t fall into the complacency trap when it comes to your personal appearance and then complain when your partner is working late hours ever since that new assistant came on board.  Don’t fall victim to rigid schedules and roles that can cause the marriage to grow stale. Do be more spontaneous and do things from time to time to revive the passion. Don’t treat your mate like another family member and don’t assume that you know everything about him or her. You don’t and you won’t until many years into your relationship. Don’t expect your partner to always be at your beckon call; appreciate the fact that he or she has a life of their own. Do respect your mate as his or her own individual and acknowledge that the two of you will not always see eye-to-eye. Do give your mate plenty of space and freedom. Don’t allow fear and insecurity to destroy peace within the home.

I only scratched the surface on what it takes to make a marriage successful. Whew, I’m exhausted. Marriage is a lot of work and sometimes the work feels like drudgery which is probably why I’m still single (I hate drudgery). You still want to get married? Knock yourself out. I’ll remain single and save myself from all the hard work. What’s love really got to do with it anyway? Love doesn’t need a license or sanctioning by a governing body.


Relationship Compatibility: Start with Thyself

black men are not the problem to black women today

When it comes to relationships most people want to achieve the social ideal which is to enter into a marriage or a lifelong commitment. When it comes to determining relationship compatibility it’s important to establish what kind of relationship person you are. Being aware of your relationship needs can save you a great deal of heartache and pain. One of the best ways to discover your ideal relationship dynamic is to get a natal chart interpretation.

I do not believe in the notion that everyone is relationship-oriented nor do I believe that everyone is destined to enter into a long-term fulfilling relationship. I also do not believe in the common assertion that there is someone for everyone. Some people are destined to go through life as a single person due to where they are at on the spectrum of spiritual evolution. On the other hand, others are destined to experience the bond that comes with marriage or a life partnership. This does not mean that the latter is more spiritually evolved than the former, however. It all boils down to what is needed for a particular individual’s spiritual evolution.

Either a person is relationship-oriented or he/she is not. According to my definition, a relationship-oriented person will be able to remain in one relationship for an extended period of time—usually spanning over 7 years. I designate 7 years as the baseline since it reflects the 7-year cycle of Saturn (28 years/4), the planet of time, commitment, responsibility and longevity. Thus, if a person can remain in one relationship for 7 or more years you can generally consider that person to be relationship-oriented. Keep in mind that when I refer to the term “relationship-oriented”, I am referring to a long-term, harmonious and monogamous commitment or marriage.

Certain astrological configurations can determine whether a person will be relationship-oriented (in the traditional, long-term monogamous sense) or not. For instance one or more of the following aspects may be present in a person’s chart who is NOT relationship-oriented:

Sun conjunct Uranus

Moon square Sun

Moon opposition Saturn

Moon square Pluto

Moon square Uranus

Venus square Saturn

Venus square Uranus

Venus conjunct Uranus

Mars square Venus

Mars opposition Venus

Usually, people with these aspects will still try to go against their own grain, attempting to fit a square peg into a round hole even if it’s just about keeping up with the Jones’s. These are the kinds of people who you will find in multiple short-term relationships that usually last no longer than 3 years. Their relationships are often not clearly defined and they may be filled with a great deal of turmoil. You may find that this kind of person falls in and out of love very easily. They may also not give much prior thought when it comes to choosing a mate, but they may also bemoan the fact that true love eludes them. They do not realize that the relationship model that works for some people is not designed to work for them. Perhaps, they have been told by ex-partners that they are self-absorbed, inconsiderate and afraid of commitment. For some this may be true, but for others they may simply be misunderstood.

Some individuals who have some of these astrological aspects are very self-aware and consciously make it a point not to become too attached. For example, I know of a man who is 55 years old, has never been married and does not have any kids. This man has even said that he could go another 10 years before he settles down with one woman. He has Moon opposition Saturn, Venus square Mars, Sun conjunct Uranus and Moon semisquare Sun in his natal chart. His brother tells him that he is destined to be a perpetual bachelor. Any woman who tries to subjugate this kind of man will end up becoming bald from pulling her hair out in frustration.

If a woman is aware that she is not relationship-oriented she may be met with criticism if she chooses to proclaim this truth. In this present day society it is far more acceptable for a man to be perpetually single than a woman. If a woman tells her friends or family members that she does not want to be in a long-term relationship she is met with sighs and comments like “you’ll find someone, don’t give up” “you just haven’t found the right one” or “your guy is out there somewhere”. Women either face pressure or pity when it comes to being single for more than 5 years straight.

It appears that more people—especially men are waking up to the reality that a marriage or life partnership is not the ideal for everyone. It would seem that the most heartache and pain occurs when one person who is relationship-oriented couples up with a person who is not. The problem is that the person who is not relationship-oriented is usually unaware that they are wired this way so they blame the other person and go in search of someone new only to wind up in the same lonely predicament. However, loneliness no longer becomes this looming threat once the person acknowledges that they are not relationship-oriented. Better choices in terms of truly compatible potential mates can then be made.

So much drama could be prevented if people knew what kind of relationship-type person they were before attempting to commit to another. Self-awareness is the first step in creating fulfilling relationships—whether they are short or long in duration.

– Rahbinah

Relationships: Fate, Destiny and Astrological Aspects

chakra lovers

As a spiritual advisor I often receive questions regarding love, relationships, soul mates, etc. This should come as no surprise given the fact that most people have hopes and ambitions of finding a life partner. What most people do not realize and what I try to convey is that we all come into this life with predisposed inclinations toward a particular kind of relationship and partner. This is most evident by the examination of one’s natal chart. The relationship patterns indicated in the chart are hard-wired into the psyche and these patterns will manifest in some way through the outside world. For instance, a person born with their Venus in tight square, opposition, quincunx or sesquisquare with Uranus will more often than not have a difficult time forming a long-term commitment (The conjunction can also produce this effect in some people as well). On the other hand, it may be very easy for this same person to enter into many short-term relationships or flings. In fact, the latter may certainly contribute to the former since the native when in a committed relationship will often be tempted to stray through the ease of forming of new friendships and associations. Men in particular will have a very difficult time with monogamy and commitment with Venus in challenging aspect to Uranus for it is too easy for them to meet new lovers. Now if the Venus/Uranus native is determined to have a long-term commitment the vibration of this aspect will still be present and it is likely to manifest in one or more of the following ways:

  • Great compromises to be made in the name of maintaining one or both of the partners’ level of independence and individuality.
  • Being in a very unique or unconventional relationship/marriage such as marrying cousins or a polyamorous union.
  • A relationship that is fraught with sudden upsets, break ups and a great deal of unpredictability yet somehow the couple manages to stay together long-term.
  • A sexless or emotionally vapid marriage/partnership
  • A marriage or partnership that results in a total upheaval of one’s life–whether for good or bad.

Venus in challenging aspect to Uranus applies to Synastry/Compatibility charts as well and the dynamic may even be more pronounced depending on the tightness of the aspect. A tight opposition between one partner’s Venus and the other’s Uranus for instance can indicate a short romance that begins with a bang and comes to a sudden halt. Now this Venus/Uranus configuration may be able to be overcome entirely once the native achieves spiritual evolution or at least a full understanding of their Divinely-inspired purpose. However, this is still quite rare even in this present day. Most people go through life seeking a fulfilling relationship not being aware of the inherent challenges and limitations unique to their fate. Venus in challenging aspect to Uranus or any aspect for that matter is the Fate, Destiny is what you choose to do with those aspects. Thus, Destiny can be altered at any time, albeit within the parameters of Fate (natal chart aspects).

It would seem that most people do not want to do the work that comes along with creating your Destiny as far as relationships are concerned. Most people just want to step into a “turn-key” relationship. This is a relationship that is ready-made that requires little to no effort. Only certain people will be afforded the luxury of a turn-key relationship. Yes, some people are just lucky in love or you can view it as an accumulation of good relationship karma. These fortunate folks establish the model that others aspire to. You can also call the turn-key relationship a “fairytale romance”. When people fall short of achieving this turn-key relationship, they become dejected not realizing that they’ve been given a different kind of Fate.

This brings me back to the readings I do for people. I always try to help my clients understand the underlying reasons for why they face such hardship in love and relationships. I take it back to the source which in my opinion is the natal chart. I don’t just address the symptoms. I get down to the root cause and this often leads me to the topic of past lives/reincarnation. Knowledge of Self is paramount when it comes to understanding why we are drawn to certain types of people and certain kinds of relationships. For those who are blessed with the ease of a turn-key relationship, more power to you. For the rest of us, relationships may be the process by which we achieve self-discovery and self-actualization through the mirror that is one’s significant other.


Uranian Moxie

It’s funny how a few transits can usher in radical change—especially when Uranus is in the mix. Saturn and Venus have conjoined with my natal Uranus in just 7 days. As a result, I have undergone some significant change especially in the area of personal relationships. When a planet or one of the lights (Sun, Moon) interacts with Uranus, things can come to an abrupt halt followed by an exciting new beginning. Sometimes this exciting new beginning precedes the ending of the existing situation prompting a quick demise of the old. This is what is occurring in my life right now. Venus landing on Uranus in its most literal sense can deal with ending an old relationship and starting something new. Uranus is the planet of separatism, but also extreme magnetism.

Uranus in the planet of truth so it makes sense that it has little tolerance for bullshit. Uranus can smell a line of crap from a mile away—especially when in the sign of Scorpio, of which my natal Uranus is. I have just entered the sowing phase of a new relationship which is radically different than the one I just ended. This possibility of a new love has blindsided me for I like to think of myself as being highly independent and not in need of a partner (my natal Uranus is conjunct my Midheaven and square to Saturn in the 7th). In fact, I was blindsided by the relationship I just ended when it was in the sowing phase. Back then, transiting Mars had landed on my Uranus. The current situation, I did not see coming. That’s how Uranus works. It’s the planet of surprise, shock, and the unexpected. Uranus will also give a person balls of steel to do something bold; an urge that the person might try to suppress normally. Subtlety is not in Uranus’s vocabulary. Transits involving Uranus will cause the native to throw caution to the wind and attempt to break any barriers standing in the way of the will to be, do, or say whatever he or she intends without fear of derision or reprisal. It’s the “my way or the highway” planet.

So time will tell (Uranus has no use for time, that’s Saturn’s domain) if the seeds of this potential union will sprout. Most likely I’ll know for sure by la fin de semana.

In the meantime, I’ll play the role of the hermit, patiently waiting for the aftermath of my Uranian moxie. With Venus now in my 10th house, love and relationship becomes my ambition. There’s a good chance that seeds will grow into something beautiful.

On another note, Venus landing on my Uranus also brought the suprise of unexpected money. I won $100 from playing the lottery. Surprise, surprise!

Scenarios for Relationship Tarot Readings–Part 1

From the Gilded Tarot Deck

As a spiritual advisor I specialize in relationship counseling. About 90% of the requests I receive for readings deal with relationship issues. About 95% of my clientele are female. One of my favorite Tarot spreads is the one I do for relationships. It is an 8-card spread that is rather popular among tarot readers. This spread not only highlights the strengths and weaknesses of the relationship in question; it also provides insight into how the two partners view each other. As with most tarot spreads, it concludes with a possible outcome (card 8).

Every tarot card can be related to relationships, but when dealing with the problems or obstacles of a union there are some cards that can indicate distinct circumstances. Part 1 of this blog series deals with the minor arcana or pip cards from the 2’s to the 10’s (I will deal with the Aces in a separate post). The court cards will be presented in part 2; the major arcana will be discussed in part 3 and part 4 will be reserved for the Aces. Rather than providing a monotonous list of keywords for each card discussed, I will provide scenarios that will hopefully stimulate your imagination and provide more clarity than an enumeration of traits. So, let’s get started.

Part 1a: Tarot Cards for Relationship Issues (numbers 2 to 5)

  • 2 of Wands: Michael and Sandy are in a relationship, but Michael is still looking elsewhere for fulfillment not being content just with Sandy. Sandy realizes that she is off to a good start with Michael, but there is still more campaigning that she needs to do.
  • 2 of Pentacles: Tariq is ambivalent when it comes to his relationship with Vanessa. Tariq considers giving his co-worker his number just in case things don’t work out with Vanessa.
  • 2 of Swords: Theresa is emotionally numb to Brian’s attempts to win back her affection. Theresa is indecisive about giving Brian another chance. Brian wishes that Theresa would get off the fence and stop being so tense.
  • 2 of Cups Reversed: Lonnie and Simone have decided to call it quits because they just can’t see eye-to-eye. Both Lonnie and Simone are very distraught, but are not willing to give it another try.
  • 3 of Pentacles: George and Lisa have entered into a relationship mainly due to material goals. They are both too concerned about status in this union. They are yuppies who met at work.
  • 3 of Swords: Victor feels heartbroken because Blanca wants to separate. Blanca hasn’t been able to deal with much stress since her father died a month ago. She is bent on reducing the stressors in her life and  her relationship with Victor is one of them.
  • 3 of Cups: Ursula is celebrating her divorce from Brad. Ursula filed for divorce because Brad wanted to continue to play the field. Brad is happy now that he can party hardy.
  • 4 of Pentacles: Jon is holding onto Wendy for dear life. Wendy has moved on, but Jon feels that he still has a chance.
  • 4 of Swords: Brenda is carefully contemplating whether she should enter into a relationship with Marcus. Marcus is wondering why Brenda has withdrawn from active involvement with him.
  • 4 of Cups: Jamal feels bored in his relationship with April. He is apathetic to her attempts to please him. Jamal feels stuck in a rut and April is considering a different approach to combat this stagnation.
  • 5 of Wands: Jill’s friends wonder why she stays with Jack because they are always bickering. Jill’s friends believe that Jack needs to prove himself in order to show that he is worthy. Jill’s friends add fuel to the fire with their input.
  • 5 of Pentacles: Tom and Helen’s relationship is on the rocks due to financial problems. Tom feels that Helen puts money before love. Helen says: “Love does not put food on the table”. Georgia feels rejected by Otis because he no longer calls or texts her.
  • 5 of Swords: Kim is very abusive toward Chris. Chris is humiliated by Kim’s treatment of him in public. Kim is also very jealous and vindictive. She once broke Chris’s cellphone due to a text from his female relative. Kim derives pleasure out of making Chris upset.
  • 5 of Cups: Tony and Carrie are experiencing emotional turmoil as a result of Carrie’s 3rd miscarriage. They are not sure if they want to try again even though hope still remains.


These are just a few scenarios that these cards can represent. Of course each card discussed above can have other meanings; the scenarios describe just one of the possible circumstances that may be underfoot. Even those cards that are generally positive in their meaning can indicate problems such as the 3 of Cups and 2 of Wands. When trying to interpret cards for relationship readings, keep it simple and always relate them to human nature. It helps to create hypothetical scenarios for a deeper understanding of the energies at play. Do not limit yourself to just keywords. Play with scenarios!

Part 1b will be posted tomorrow.


Who’s Gonna Take the Weight?

Whenever the 10 of Wands comes up for relationship readings, I immediately know that more than likely there is a distinct imbalance within the union in question. For instance, I recently did a reading for a regular client of mine and this card came up representing how my client’s love interest sees her. When I told her that he is expecting her to put forth most if not all of the effort in order to progress forward she agreed. She said that she realizes that the ball is in her court in so many words. While this client felt fine with that fact, others may not be so keen on knowing that the weight of the relationship falls squarely on their shoulders.

In general, seeing the 10 of Wands card appear in a relationship spread is a cause for concern. It is a fiery red flag in most cases–especially in budding relationships. In addition to shouldering the bulk of responsibility in a relationship, this card can also mean that one of the partners is taking the blame for everything or that he or she is essentially the martyr. The 10 of Wands can represent the workaholic partner who leaves no time or energy for the relationship. It can symbolize the working spouse who also has to tend to all of the household duties.

Now the 10 of Wands doesn’t always have to point to a negative situation. It may actually deal with necessity in some cases. For instance, the card may surface when one of the partners is sick or unemployed. It may be drawn if one partner is attending school while the other has to pick up the slack. It could also indicate that one partner chooses to bear the brunt of responsibility because they have difficulty delegating to others. The 10 of Wands could certainly depict a control-freak type of partner.

Sometimes one has to play the role of the 10 of Wands just to bring a relationship to fruition. This was traditionally the man’s role, but in modern times it can deal with either gender. In fact, it seems that in this day and age, it is often the woman who willingly takes on the 10 of Wands persona in the beginning of the relationship only to be filled with resentment when she realizes that she will never get close to it being 50/50; maybe not even 60/40. This is why open and honest communication regarding standards and expectations is so important in the beginning stages of any relationship. This can prevent the 10 of Wands card from showing up in the first place. If the 10 of Wands does happen to arise in the course of your relationship you need to ask yourself if this is a win-win situation and if it is not, you should really consider making some necessary adjustments for no man is an island or a beast of burden.


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